LOL!

I usually have trouble naming my blogs…. That’s becoz I take up lotsa time to come up with a real nice one. But this time around, I decided on the name of the blog even before I started writing it. LOL! What a weird way to name your blog, after all what could have happened to me that was so funny that I had to shout it out loud?

It wasn’t that funny actually. Getting your death predicted is not very funny….or is it????

I’m not much of a god fearing person, nor do I believe much in astrology or stuff like that. So it was a real amusing experience when an astrologer visited our place last Sunday. I’m not exactly sure about the reason why he was asked to come… but that is not important from this blog’s perspective. What is really important is what that person said when he looked at my hand.

I had my university project review the next day, so a friend of mine and me were busy getting our presentation ready. We had barely done a couple of slides when my aunt called coz they wanted the astrologer fellow to see how I would fare in my life. Being as it is, my family members have huge doubts about what would happen to me in a decade or something (not without good reasons!). So I didn’t want to deny them the pleasure of getting to know that I’m gonna be a huge success in life, that I’m gonna make more money than anyone has ever done in my family, that I’m gonna have the most beautiful girl they have ever seen for a wife (Poor me! I never knew that fate was hiding just around the corner laughing his head off!)

When I went there, the fellow had already predicted that one of my cousins would have three wives while the other one was bound to marry twice. My engineering brain quickly pulled out the law of averages and a multitude of probability and statistics equations and started calculating how many times I would get fortunate (he! he!)

I wiped my palm clean and stuck it out in front of him. He took hold of it gently, and turned it round and round, wiped his brow a couple of times, took out his pen and started marking the prints in my hand. Then he shook my his head a couple of times… you know the way doctors in movies come out of the operation theatre nod their heads….MY GOD! I thought, I DOOMED! IM GONNA REMAIN A BACHELOR ALL MY LIFE!!!! But the fellow had seen even greater disasters in my life…..

To facilitate easy understanding of what transpired after that, I ll give the entire conversation here

Astrologer: I see dark times, real dark times

Me: (yeah! Its summer…Power cuts!)

Astrologer: Your lifeline doesn’t appear too good

Me: grin!

Astrologer: You ll have great difficulty just managing to stay alive

Me: grin!

Ast: Don’t trust anybody… everyone out there is trying to get u into trouble.

Me: grin! (Yeah! The first one being you!)

Ast: don’t go anywhere near crowds…u r bound to get injured easily

Me: grin! (C’mon man! Im a celebrity, im a crowd puller…it aint my fault)

Ast: You should be careful when you drive vehicles

Me: grin! (The only thing I can drive is myself…drive myself mad!)

Uncle: do you think there is a possibility of him falling in love?

Me: grin! (I know the answer for that!)

Ast: you should keep away from girls, it ll land u only in more trouble

Me: slightly fading grin! (Try saying that to all those beautiful girls who don’t seem to get enough of me!)

Ast: don’t dare go to the beach… its extremely dangerous for you!

Me: tired grin! (Now you are really getting on my nerves!)

Ast: don’t stay out in the night

Me: grin vanished! (U R PISSING ME!)

Ast: there is only one way out of this…

Ast: quit eating meat….

Me: groan! (Excuse me! Are u from the PETA?)

Ast: get up early…

Me: groan!

Ast: take a bath….

Ast: go to the temple and light lanterns there!

Me: groan big time! (SOS! SOS!)

Ast: other than that there is nothing to worry

Me: (looking at my aunt) shall we go eat now?

Looking back at it, I’m not sure how I should emote…should I mourn my impending death? I don’t know! After all Death is the only thing that every single one of us are sure to inherit from our parents.

Death is Hereditary! Death is Mandatory!

p.s: It took me one and half hours in the sweltering heat of my room to write this blog….(I‘ve stopped venturing anywhere beyond the limit of the air conditioned room!) I jus wanted to tell what kinds of hardships a blogger undergoes to keep up his stupid blogs!

-Karthikeyan