Its a Spooky World Out There

You know there are things that happen in your life that makes you feel real happy. And there are things... real bad things that happen in your life that makes you feel very sad and depressed. But somewhere in between these two there are things, things that are not exactly bad or something, but still tends to make you feel all depressed and sad and sometimes makes you hate yourself. I’m not sure if everyone has such little things in life which makes them sad for no reason at all!

• From the time I’ve been able to understand why dogs stand and shit while we humans have to sit down to do the same thing, I’ve always felt very uncomfortable about going to the railway station to drop off someone.... you go with them all the way to the railway station and after sending them off you have to drag yourself out of the station and go back home alone... I’ve never felt so bad when I’ve had to see someone off at the bus terminal or even at the airport, but railway stations have this depressing effect on me in spite of the fact that I love traveling by train. Maybe it is something that everybody can identify themselves with or maybe I’m jus this weirdo whose got weird feelings about each and everything in life!

• Next on the list is when I look at blind people sitting in buses. Someone comes and sits next to them and they are not able to see who it is. Jus imagine how you would feel if you are prevented from knowing who is sitting next to you. You have to travel the entire distance without knowing who is in your neighboring seat. It is not the fact that they are not able to see, it jus that they wont be able to know who is sitting next to them! Brrrr... That really freaks me out.

• If you thought the previous two were weird I dunno what you would say about this. When I travel by college bus and I have to take a route that was not originally allotted to me, I hate it when I have to ask the driver to stop the bus at some place where the bus is not actually supposed to stop. I know the driver is absolutely fine with that and has no problems; after all that is what he is paid for isn’t he? But still it makes me feel really depressed.

• You go to a park; there are lotsa kids playing around. Swings, see saws, mazes, slides... they are all there, but the thing that really spooks me is when two kids are playing in a see saw and one of the kid is thin and the other one is heavy. Its no problem of mine and I don’t know why I should feel guilty and depressed about it( as if its my mistake the kid is either heavy or thin, or as if its my fault that they two got together to play see saw!)

• A new movie has been released; you know it is a stupid movie with all sorts of heroic masala stuff in it. You think the movie is sure to bomb, but the movie turns out to be block buster. Worse you hear some of your friends rave about the movie, trying to glorify the movie for all its stupidity. I think this one thing I can explain; maybe I get so depressed on thinking that the people around me are so stupid and naive!

• You go to the beach… you feel really bored and you buy peanuts. The peanuts all turn out to be stale, you try to find the vendor but he is no where to be seen. I seriously get upset about that, it is one of the worst situations one could be in.

• when I break open the shell of a crab with great difficulty only to find that the crab has been under nourished and that there is nothing inside except vacuum, that is when I feel like really going on top of a mountain and throwing myself down…

• It breaks my heart when i see these kites in the sky. To me it appears like they are some kinda puppets who are made to do whatever the person holding the string wants them to do. Actually puppets are much better than kites, atleast they know they are puppets... they are branded as puppets and they know that is how they are supposed to live. But being a kite and having to behave like a puppet is horrible. Its like you being employed as the branch manager and asked to the job of a watchman!
  

I jus dunno why I’m listing all these down.... maybe it is because I’ll get really really sad and depressed if I don’t!

-Karthikeyan