Single and Looking!!!!!!!

In relationships, a single person is one who is not married, or, more broadly, who is not in an exclusive romantic relationship.

Single people may engage in dating to find a partner or spouse. Not all single people actively seek out a relationship, however, as some are content to wait for the 'right' person to enter their lives, while others do not seek relations at all.

-www.wikipedia.org

This blog is dedicated to all guys who are single and wondering what exactly went wrong. Did cupid just miss me, or maybe I’m just too thick skinned that I never felt it when he shot me in my butt!

I can totally relate to what you are feeling now. Trust me!

Its a Sunday evening, and I ve got enough in my life to keep me worried for something like the next 2,357 years… but what do I do???? I sit down and mull about the fact that I’m single. Right now, I might be giving you people the impression that I’m a pathetic guy who never found love in his life, but Hey! That’s part of the plan to make this blog appear interesting. You never know, this might eventually find its way to some text book in some godforsaken university. I’m sure there must be people who study absolutely useless stuff!

When it comes to getting a girlfriend, finding the right girl could really tire you down. 83% of the girls that u either work or go to college with are just plain stupid. And the remaining is just too smart to fall for someone like you.

OK, you have found the perfect girl and you think that the hardest part is over, I’m sorry mate! From here on it could get only tougher. Asking a girl out these days has become more complex than calculus. It is just too much of a trouble. First you got to befriend her. WATCH OUT! Cos, if u are just a tad careless, then you find yourself too close to her. You are in the “zone “, she thinks you are a good friend. Then it starts all over again, the only respite being that the pool of eligible girls just got wider with your new “best friend’s” girl friends all joining it.

When exactly did it become this complicated? There must’ve been a time when things were much easier. When girls were aplenty and they did not give a damn about you being a dumb ass or whether you had a good sense of humor.

If you ask me, Adam was the luckiest guy this world has ever seen. He did not have to shave everyday; he did not need designer clothes or expensive dates to ask Eve out, did not have to worry about the girl finding out that he had dandruff. I guess all he must have done was to grunt. Poor Eve had no choice but to tag along with him. After all the very continuance of mankind was hanging on her decision! I don’t know whether they lived happily ever after, but even if they didn’t, they really did not have much choice. Sometimes too many choices could get really get you nowhere (definitely not the story of my life, my life is like a multiple choice question with no choices, and with negative marking!)

Well, time went by, man invented the wheel. But what is more important in the context of this blog is that man also got busy, and made lot more of his own kind. NOW, there was competition! Something that he had not encountered before. There was this very handsome caveman right next door with cool hair flying in all directions and a very cute (but quite smelly) smile. And he has got this really cool gadget that makes cleaning the intestine of a wild boar a lot easier. The girl appears to be interested in him. How was he to get his girl??? Aah! All you have to do was jus go down to her place, hit her over her head with your club and carry her back to your cave. And if the guy gives you any trouble, just use his own gadget on him. Zappak!

Kings and princes had it easy, all that you had to do was to build a TajMahal or just cross seven hills and the seven oceans, find the tower, kill the dragon and the girl is in your arms. Bah! Anybody could do that! And the really lucky ones just waged war and killed a few hundred thousands to get their girl. So what if you have already been married 26 times and the girl was the 43^rd queen of the neighboring kingdom. True love was what that counted back then.

I would like to see Shajahan asking Mumtaz for a date and taking her out on a Saturday night and telling her that he loves her. I’m sure the fellow would‘ve peed in his pants and Mumtaz would’ve eloped with his bodyguard.

Victorian age wasn’t that bad either, all u needed was pants so tight that they leave little for imagination. Learn to fight with swords, ride the horse, kill a couple of bad guys… or even easier BE the bad guy yourself. Zoro, Robinhood, the Scarlet Pimpernel… Dames just loved them all. If swordfight was not really your cup of tea, then all you had to do was visit the local town hall, get friendly with the father of the girl. Buy him a couple of drinks and tell him you’re rich. The next thing u knew, you are already married to the girl. Girls really did not have that much of a spine those days. Yeah of course you would’ve been dating her dad more than the girl herself. But when was the last time you had the cake and ate it too?

Turn of the century saw things taking a dramatic twist. Girls got smarter (or atleast a percentage of them did). You had to go through a lot more hardships than swordfight or dragons or building tajmahals. New concepts like” impressing the girl”, “personal hygiene” and “dressing smart” came into picture. Guys like us I think got lost here.

Not to mention the advertisement world. Man! Do they add more pressure on you or what? You see this guy who sips a cool drink and then the girl with the hourglass figure dumps the hunk and gets on the bike with this fellow. After trying out gallons of these drinks you realize that they don’t get you girls but they definitely get you burpy enough for all girls to screw up their nose when they see you!

So unless you are Adam or a Mughal king who can afford a full fledged marble tombstone or someone from the deodorant/soft drink/chewing gum advertisement world, GUYS! Pull your socks up and get down to serious business. It is every man for himself out there! The world doesn’t need another Mr.Heckles. Go and find your girl and ask her out, and before actually doing that just make sure that u have brushed your teeth and for a change wear a pair of jeans that doesn’t smell of dead rats.

-Karthikeyan

THE UGLY DUCKLING-- an Autobiography of Karthikeyan

I had actually created this lil masterpiece 3 months back, but somehow forgot to post it.Got hold of it recently when i was clicking away randomly. It would be a shame if i deprive u ppl of an oppurtunity to read such stuff. So, here we go! after avery long time..... my latest post.....

21 years and five months on this damned planet, 18 years of so called education and a graduation later, i think I have qualified for an autobiography. I did think of asking someone to write a biography on me (im not the kind of a person who likes to blow his own trumpet).....hmmm lemme see....i like Kushwant Singh a lot but he might be a little too busy, Arundati Roy doesnt suit me.... Awwwww, Shucks! Looks like i 've got to do the dirty work. And since i could not get hold of any guinea pigs i might as well let you ppl read this!

I dont know much about auotbiographies cos i ve never read one and I can damn well assure you that I have no idea how to go about writing one. But i know when something is written about a person, it is going to be very SUBJECTIVE. So i thought i might as well get SUBJECTIVE about this entire thing about my autobiography. So, here we go...

Pssst! hey, i ve got no intention of hurting anyone except myself !




History

NO! you are wrong! i was not born at 6 O clock on the 6th of the 6th month..... I might appear devilish and might do things that would convince people that i have two green horns and a pointed tail hidden away, but i was born on a normal day( or was it night?? mem - ask mom)-10th of Feb, 1985 in a normal nursing home in chennai.

I wasnt the "Calvin" type of a kid cos i never ever did anything that could be considered as a prank. Neither was i a "Dexter" type of a kid cos I was never interested in learning anything. Maybe i was the "Garfield" type of a kid, you know the ones who like to eat and sleep in the couch and watch tv day in and day out. Yeah! that was me when i was a toddler.

You dont remain a toddler forever. Nobody does, and Im no exception. I grew up. I always wanted to grow up and rub shoulders with the bigger lot. Boy! was i disappointed! I realised that it could be a real pain in your ass when you grow up.People force you to go to school, and when you go there, you have got to deal with these extremely dangerous beings.... these huge, grim, stupid looking, bipeds wearing lots of make up and a very silly looking hairdo who call themselves "The Teachers". They shout at you, hit you with a ruler, complaint to your parents and to top it all..... they give HOMEWORK! Can you believe it? working at home! and all these years i thought home was supposed to be a place where you rest after you have finished with your work!

Just when i was getting the hang of the "School Concept" and beginning to even like it, i was kicked out saying they had no more to teach me and that i had to go to "College" if i wanted to learn more! I ve slugged it out for four years in a college and i still wonder if i have learnt anything at all !

The history of any person would be incomplete without mentioning his love life. Yeah, i had my share of crushes. One major crush and lots of tiny ones but all of them met the same fate.


Geography

When i was a kid i was shunted back and forth between chennai and my dad's workplace. After I left kindergarten, we were able to stay in the same place for something like seven years. And then my Dad had this huge brainwave to get his own house. I dont know whose idea it was to buid a house in the suburbs of chennai, but poor me landed somewhere outside the city where the only thing that you cud get easily was a snake bite. Worst roads i ve ever set my eyes on, no proper water supply,no drainage system in use, power levels that keep fluctuating between 0 and max, stray dogs that are always on the prowl ready to attack you, nearest decent hotel atleast 5-8 kilometers away, residents who wouldnt mind abusing your entire family tree just because you asked them not to use the pavment for their toilets..... other than these, it is a wonderfull locality to live in! (Ouch! i must be leading a real sad life to have actually written that!)


Maths

My life has never followed a set pattern. No fixed formulas. I was not able to predict anything that hapened in my life. On the whole, my life is something that wouldnt fit into any kind of framework. So rules dont apply to me. Nothing in my life was calculated. So no math in my autobiography!

Economics

I didnt include economics earlier in this post, but 3 months later when i decided to finally post this crap, i realised that my economic condition has imroved considerably. I ve started earning and am spending my own money. That meant that the inflation rate was bound to go down and the sensex was all set to zoom!


Chemistry

Chemistry has always been a mystery to me and my autobiography is gonna be no exception.
The mystery is yet to be solved!
The code is yet to be cracked.
All these years, i ve tried to figure out what im made of. Well, i was able to make out that most of my head is made of fertile soil that is extremely rich in ammonia. The rest of me?????? The great lord is gonna have a lot of answering to do when i meet him sooner or later.



Physics

I dont think there is a single human on this planet who hasnt gone through this. You are in a hurry going somewhere and you walk past the mirror, you retrace your steps, stand in front of the mirror, stare at your reflection for say five or ten minutes, and then you wonder " Am I really that bad looking?" Most of you would have experienced it when you crossed your teens, when you become so conscious about how you look, but then i have never had anything normal happening to me, so its perfectly normal according to my standards that im going through the phase now at the age of 21 when there are a thousand and one other important things crying out for my attention! Maybe this is wat people call a "Mid Life Crisis", but then i havent exactly reached the middle of my life....Technically speaking, I havent even started it!

If you are wondering just how much time i have spent pondereing over this terrible predicament that im facing...... I have been totally jobless for the past two weeks and it gave me enough time to waste on this extreeeeemely important issue. I stood in front of the mirror and started analysing myself inch by inch. At the end of it, when i went through the list, a shudder went through my spine..... "Am I really that bad looking?" In front of me was a paper having a list of all possible adjectives that a third person might use when asked to describe me.

1. Thin ( actually not thin, but bony)- trust me, my weight has been the butt of so many jokes

2. Short- i think i stopped growing after i reached college....another one of god's gift to me..... maybe the almighty jus forgot to add those few drops of somatropin in my bloodstream when i was born

3. Dark- I dont mind being dark..... but when it combines with all these other factors....it really doesnt make oneself very smart....does it?

4. Bespectacled- some say glasses make people look smarter...yeah it does.... i cant bear to see myself without glasses....wait a minute! did i say "see without glasses"? Oh! i must ve been really sleepy to have typed that....actually im virtually blind without my glasses

5. Prominent Teeth- i tried it all.... braces, massaging my gums, change the way i close my mouth when i sleep...ahan! my teeth just had to grow big and prominent.....maybe they are a bit of show off!

6. A budding paunch- this one happened as a result of my efforts to shrug off the THIN image....lots of food and no work....became a couch potato and finally i was gifted with a little paunch

7. Shaggy hair- Head&Shoulders, Pantene, All Clear, etc.,etc. They would all be amazed if they took a look at my hair. A multitude of shampoos and lotions and hair gel and conditioners later i gave up the fight and surrendered meekly. But one thing i couldnt understand....How could the almighty screw up both inside and outside of my head!




But having said all this, i still have hope....Everybody gets their fifteen minutes of fame...... The Ugly Duckling got his share....Im bidding my time!



-Karthikeyan

LOL!

I usually have trouble naming my blogs…. That’s becoz I take up lotsa time to come up with a real nice one. But this time around, I decided on the name of the blog even before I started writing it. LOL! What a weird way to name your blog, after all what could have happened to me that was so funny that I had to shout it out loud?

It wasn’t that funny actually. Getting your death predicted is not very funny….or is it????

I’m not much of a god fearing person, nor do I believe much in astrology or stuff like that. So it was a real amusing experience when an astrologer visited our place last Sunday. I’m not exactly sure about the reason why he was asked to come… but that is not important from this blog’s perspective. What is really important is what that person said when he looked at my hand.

I had my university project review the next day, so a friend of mine and me were busy getting our presentation ready. We had barely done a couple of slides when my aunt called coz they wanted the astrologer fellow to see how I would fare in my life. Being as it is, my family members have huge doubts about what would happen to me in a decade or something (not without good reasons!). So I didn’t want to deny them the pleasure of getting to know that I’m gonna be a huge success in life, that I’m gonna make more money than anyone has ever done in my family, that I’m gonna have the most beautiful girl they have ever seen for a wife (Poor me! I never knew that fate was hiding just around the corner laughing his head off!)

When I went there, the fellow had already predicted that one of my cousins would have three wives while the other one was bound to marry twice. My engineering brain quickly pulled out the law of averages and a multitude of probability and statistics equations and started calculating how many times I would get fortunate (he! he!)

I wiped my palm clean and stuck it out in front of him. He took hold of it gently, and turned it round and round, wiped his brow a couple of times, took out his pen and started marking the prints in my hand. Then he shook my his head a couple of times… you know the way doctors in movies come out of the operation theatre nod their heads….MY GOD! I thought, I DOOMED! IM GONNA REMAIN A BACHELOR ALL MY LIFE!!!! But the fellow had seen even greater disasters in my life…..

To facilitate easy understanding of what transpired after that, I ll give the entire conversation here

Astrologer: I see dark times, real dark times

Me: (yeah! Its summer…Power cuts!)

Astrologer: Your lifeline doesn’t appear too good

Me: grin!

Astrologer: You ll have great difficulty just managing to stay alive

Me: grin!

Ast: Don’t trust anybody… everyone out there is trying to get u into trouble.

Me: grin! (Yeah! The first one being you!)

Ast: don’t go anywhere near crowds…u r bound to get injured easily

Me: grin! (C’mon man! Im a celebrity, im a crowd puller…it aint my fault)

Ast: You should be careful when you drive vehicles

Me: grin! (The only thing I can drive is myself…drive myself mad!)

Uncle: do you think there is a possibility of him falling in love?

Me: grin! (I know the answer for that!)

Ast: you should keep away from girls, it ll land u only in more trouble

Me: slightly fading grin! (Try saying that to all those beautiful girls who don’t seem to get enough of me!)

Ast: don’t dare go to the beach… its extremely dangerous for you!

Me: tired grin! (Now you are really getting on my nerves!)

Ast: don’t stay out in the night

Me: grin vanished! (U R PISSING ME!)

Ast: there is only one way out of this…

Ast: quit eating meat….

Me: groan! (Excuse me! Are u from the PETA?)

Ast: get up early…

Me: groan!

Ast: take a bath….

Ast: go to the temple and light lanterns there!

Me: groan big time! (SOS! SOS!)

Ast: other than that there is nothing to worry

Me: (looking at my aunt) shall we go eat now?

Looking back at it, I’m not sure how I should emote…should I mourn my impending death? I don’t know! After all Death is the only thing that every single one of us are sure to inherit from our parents.

Death is Hereditary! Death is Mandatory!

p.s: It took me one and half hours in the sweltering heat of my room to write this blog….(I‘ve stopped venturing anywhere beyond the limit of the air conditioned room!) I jus wanted to tell what kinds of hardships a blogger undergoes to keep up his stupid blogs!

-Karthikeyan

Toilet paper

When I started this blog I decided to be very strict on one particular aspect- that I will blog only about things that have either happened in my life or about those that I ve experienced during my brief stay in this planet, neither of which would be of any use to others. So here goes another one of my good for nothing posts.

• The largest circulated daily: Hindustan Times

• The second largest circulated daily: The Hindu

• The total number of registered newspapers, as on 31 December 2000: 49,145

• The second largest number of newspapers and periodicals in any language: English (7,175).

Well by now you must ve come to one of the following two conclusions:

This fellow has run out of steam; he hasn’t got anything to write about and so he is giving us stupid statistics

Or you might ve decided that this fellow is gonna go blah blah about how the pen is mightier than the sword….

But wait! That’s not what I'm gonna talk about now… It is this thing about…ahem….hmmm…err… how do I start… We must ve all experienced this at some point of time in our life so assuming that I won’t be ridiculed about this blog I continue….

How many of you read newspapers…ah! I see lotsa hands…. That is a good habit, good for you all!

Now how many of you read them in the toilet? I see not many of you put your hands up.

For many of you, the only paper that is found in your toilet is definitely not something that you would wanna read. But for the rest of us, who constitute the minority, reading newspapers in the toilet is a habit that we simply cannot kick and we have no intention to do so!

You‘ll certainly laugh if I say that the toilet is one of the best places to read. If you are able to ignore your mom occasionally shouting for you to come out so that you can get the bus in time, it’s a place where there is no irritating blaring of the FM or television, no Honk! Honk! of the vehicles, no dogs barking, no early morning stupid visitors to disturb you, no Gurkha waiting for you to pay him off…. I can go on and on and on, but it is up to you if you want to try it. The best thing that could come out of this reading in toilet is that you’ll stop using the internet to get to know the news; it will actually increase the number of people who prefer newspapers to e-print (unless you are that kind of daredevil who wouldn’t mind taking your laptop along with you inside the toilet). The only drawback is that you‘ll have to put up with your mom’s berating!

I distinctly remember myself starting to develop this keenness towards reading papers even as I was a kid. What started as reading comic strips slowly evolved to magazines and weekly and then to the newspapers. The young world and the last page of Hindu was enough to sustain my reading habits at that time. By the time I was in high school I had become addicted to newspapers. I started hating public holidays coz there was no news paper the next day! If u had been my neighbor at some point of time in your life you would ve definitely seen me at least once, standing at my gate cursing the paper boy for being late. I used to get pretty irritable and quite volatile on those days.

What I don’t remember is how I picked up this habit of reading in the toilet! It must ve been during those horrendous days when I was in my tenth std. I'm not the kinda guy you would find to be exactly brilliant. I used to slug it out each time they announced those damned exams. And being a strong believer in “don’t do today, what you can put off for tomorrow”, I always had a significant part of my lessons to be done on the morning of the exams. I'm not an early bird you see, so I had to somehow squeeze in those lessons in the morning; I cannot read while I’m brushing my teeth or while taking a bath…. So I took them to the toilet seat!

And from that day on, I ve learnt more sitting in the toilet seat than I ve ever learnt in any of my classrooms. I got to know Newton and Einstein better in there than I ve managed in a laboratory. I ve understood the political scenario during the World wars, learnt the difference between a PNP and a NPN transistor, mastered the C programming, introduced myself to web development etc….. everything in the quiet of the toilet.

It wouldn't be an exaggeration if i said that the toilet seat has been to me what the Asvattha tree was to Lord Buddha!

By the time the exams got over, I had got so used to reading in the toilet that I found it quite weird not to take a book inside; so I decided to switch to newspapers instead. And thus began my association with toilet and the newspapers. I got to understand Bush, Osama, Putin, Jacqeus Chirac, Sensex, Medha Patkar, Le Clemenceau, Ganguly and what not inside that silent room.

It has now got to a point where, anytime you go inside the toilet there is a big bundle of old newspapers piled on top of the flush! In fact anyone who needed some old newspaper came straight to me coz they knew where it would be!

I know most of you are screwing up your face in disgust after reading this blog, but I'm jus part of a small cult who is desperately trying to keep alive a dying custom!

.-Karthikeyan

People are not always the way they seem to be...or are they???

There's only 6 degrees of seperation between each nd evry individual...its sed!!!...so ther's like no way to avoid bumpin into various specimens. Evry person tends to have someone closer than the most of the people they know. A lifetime of relationship nd u feel u seem to know evrything bout the other person... u believe u've judged that person well...but then suddenly from no where .......WHAAAAAAM!!!!....wat happened??..straight on ur face!!..a bug jumps out..stings u hard...a bug u never hav seen or u never wished u'd see!!!!...is it ur mistake that u had misjudged that person?? Or is the person's mistake of hidin that bug frm u??..come on!!!..u thot u took a long time to know him/her well..but isnt that long enuf??..how long can it ever take to judge a person??..i personally feel...NO GODDAMN HUMAN CAN JUDGE OR EVEN SKIM THE SURFACE OF ANOTHER HUMAN'S TRAITS!!!....why the hell is it soo difficult??...well the answer's always out ther...no person is ever 100% truthful to another...I know this cud hurt, but thats the cold truth!!!..i wish i was completely truthful to someone...but that part aint so easy..but wat ever happened to friendship, love, brotherhood nd there r so many ways to connect...but r these words, that we jus use to relate ourselves to other ppl??...jus to prove the fact man is a social animal??..do these words ever mean anything??

The way in which we relate ourselves to ppl define the amount of disclosure we share with them. Friendship being on the highest scale gives oppurtunities for knowin more about a person. But can it guarantee that u know ur friend well???...u always thot that the guy or gal was ur best buddy...but wat bout them??...wat do they think bout u?? That is a question to be answered by ur friend alone...nd wen the answers do surface...r they authentic??...ppl may get angry on readin this nd talk shit about trust nd crap...but face it ppl...its a crazy world. Ask me if i wud trust my best buddy...i'd say a doubtful yes...but ofcourse the answer wud arise frm the long relationship we share rather than the trust i hav on my buddy!!!!...i'm human too...even tho i may write stuff like this...i face all these problems too...

Love...some may say its the purest...CRAP!!!..the current definiton of love...ask someone out...talk on the fone wen u're not eatin, sleepin or shittin..(aaarrrgh!!)...ok lets cut out on the definition of Love...i dont care bout it much...anyway..do u trust ur lover??..ok maybe trust...r u really truthful??...nd i don care bout the ones that r bein trusty nd truthful...its about the remainin pathetic lot i'm talkin bout. Do u think u've figured out every f**kin detail on ur lover? Or do u think u'd ever let ur lover to figure u out? That is a totally worthless question i know...cos the answer wud be a goddamn NO...nd i repeat this is not for ppl who r really truthful nd i doubt nd fear that wud be a mere less than a percent!!! Why the heck do most break-ups even occur???...the very reason i gave u...humans r a really complex species...there're so many tangible things yet to be figured out in a human nd here we are talkin about thots...DUH???...nd then comes brotherhood....the most feable way to connect...wen's the last time u ever shared a thot wit ur bro or sis??...eeeeew!!!!...ther might be exceptions..but most of them fall in the former category...its not such an easy task to judge or share ur mind with someone ...u can try to some extent...but wats the use wen u dunno the password nd the data remains encrypted??..or worse...even if u came to know nd its not true...ther's no way to testify!!!...or even if u decided to give way to ur mind...wud do it with utmost trust??...i seriously doubt that!!!...Ever wished u had a mind readin device??...i remember seein one on sale on EBAY!!!....yeaaa!!!....

Well..wat the...??..y do i even care to blog on this??...I AM F**KIN HUMAN TOOO!!!...damn...lets cut the crap here!!!...enough with it!!!....

- RAHUL

Its a Spooky World Out There

You know there are things that happen in your life that makes you feel real happy. And there are things... real bad things that happen in your life that makes you feel very sad and depressed. But somewhere in between these two there are things, things that are not exactly bad or something, but still tends to make you feel all depressed and sad and sometimes makes you hate yourself. I’m not sure if everyone has such little things in life which makes them sad for no reason at all!

• From the time I’ve been able to understand why dogs stand and shit while we humans have to sit down to do the same thing, I’ve always felt very uncomfortable about going to the railway station to drop off someone.... you go with them all the way to the railway station and after sending them off you have to drag yourself out of the station and go back home alone... I’ve never felt so bad when I’ve had to see someone off at the bus terminal or even at the airport, but railway stations have this depressing effect on me in spite of the fact that I love traveling by train. Maybe it is something that everybody can identify themselves with or maybe I’m jus this weirdo whose got weird feelings about each and everything in life!

• Next on the list is when I look at blind people sitting in buses. Someone comes and sits next to them and they are not able to see who it is. Jus imagine how you would feel if you are prevented from knowing who is sitting next to you. You have to travel the entire distance without knowing who is in your neighboring seat. It is not the fact that they are not able to see, it jus that they wont be able to know who is sitting next to them! Brrrr... That really freaks me out.

• If you thought the previous two were weird I dunno what you would say about this. When I travel by college bus and I have to take a route that was not originally allotted to me, I hate it when I have to ask the driver to stop the bus at some place where the bus is not actually supposed to stop. I know the driver is absolutely fine with that and has no problems; after all that is what he is paid for isn’t he? But still it makes me feel really depressed.

• You go to a park; there are lotsa kids playing around. Swings, see saws, mazes, slides... they are all there, but the thing that really spooks me is when two kids are playing in a see saw and one of the kid is thin and the other one is heavy. Its no problem of mine and I don’t know why I should feel guilty and depressed about it( as if its my mistake the kid is either heavy or thin, or as if its my fault that they two got together to play see saw!)

• A new movie has been released; you know it is a stupid movie with all sorts of heroic masala stuff in it. You think the movie is sure to bomb, but the movie turns out to be block buster. Worse you hear some of your friends rave about the movie, trying to glorify the movie for all its stupidity. I think this one thing I can explain; maybe I get so depressed on thinking that the people around me are so stupid and naive!

• You go to the beach… you feel really bored and you buy peanuts. The peanuts all turn out to be stale, you try to find the vendor but he is no where to be seen. I seriously get upset about that, it is one of the worst situations one could be in.

• when I break open the shell of a crab with great difficulty only to find that the crab has been under nourished and that there is nothing inside except vacuum, that is when I feel like really going on top of a mountain and throwing myself down…

• It breaks my heart when i see these kites in the sky. To me it appears like they are some kinda puppets who are made to do whatever the person holding the string wants them to do. Actually puppets are much better than kites, atleast they know they are puppets... they are branded as puppets and they know that is how they are supposed to live. But being a kite and having to behave like a puppet is horrible. Its like you being employed as the branch manager and asked to the job of a watchman!
  

I jus dunno why I’m listing all these down.... maybe it is because I’ll get really really sad and depressed if I don’t!

-Karthikeyan

The Little Girl With Big Dark Eyes

Do any of us remember that little girl who used to sit next to us in the fifth year of our schooling? Most of us wouldnt, we are all now too busy checkin the grown up chicks around us. But if u sit back and think, we wud all have had a girl sitting next to us, a girl who was intelligent and smart lookin, a girl who wud have helped u with the answer of "wats 24587 multiplied by 45?", a girl who wud ve readily shared her snack with u ( but i always wondered why my half of the cream biscuit was smaller!), a girl whose presence awed u so much that u forgot to speak when u had to! Well life isnt a fairy tale u know...u leave school after fifth and lose track of her. You grow up, you meet other girls, you might even fall in love with a couple of them but u are never gonna forget that cream biscuit, are u?


Once upon a time when we boys used to look at girls as if they landed from outer space, when we used to loath them jus becoz they had pig tails instead of short hair, when we used to wonder why girls behaved in that distinctive "girly" manner which was exclusive only to girls... Thats when preethi joined us in our fifth standard, she looked as meek as a lamb and we boys got ready to give her the most horrendous time of her life ( hey! we did it all the time to all girls in our class!!!) But Ms.Cybil made her sit next to me(gulp!) and over the next few days i realised that she was as smart as she was good lookin! And we dunno why but all of us boys were a bit hesitant when it came to bullying her, and i cannot say that i didnt have a hand in influencing that hesitancy ( sure made me feel like a hero!) I started to come early to school jus so that i could get a seat and also reserve the seat next to me for her. She used to smile and say thanks whenever i offered her the seat and that made my day! But inspite of all this I was never able to bring myself to talk to her normally.I used to accept her snack during breaks muttering a hardly audible thanks, and always conveniently forgot to thank her after copying her homework. But nevertheless, i really liked her. Tamil was one subject which she could never come to terms with.Once when she stammered in reading class the whole class started laughin at her, but i still dunno why i never found that funny and also why i felt a sudden urge to rush at our tamil teacher and bite of her ear??!? And When i finally had to leave my convent and move into another school, one of the reasons that i hated the new school was that i knew im gonna miss her! And miss her, i did! But then Yoda once said to young Anakin Skywalker "You ve got to learn to give up the thing that u love most in life." I learnt to live with the fact that im never ever gonna meet her again. Adolesence came and was gone and i started lookin at girls differently. They were not from outer space after all! They were in fact lovely!

P.S : Did i mention that i met her 5 years later... in my school... well dont go imagining things... i jus didnt have it in me at that time to go talk to her... tell her what i felt for her 5 years back... i jus let her complete her schooling and leave and she once again left me, only this time i think its for good (sniff!).... goes to show wat a big loser I AM!

-Karthikeyan

Hey who's this????

Hey....who the heck r u dude????.......how the f**k did ya get into mah blog??????.........hmmmmm i don remember invitin anyone over!!!!!!......hmmmm hey ppl pls dont listen to dis nut!!!!!....hey wise crack....temme how did ya post in mah blog?????.....nd who the heck changed the description part of mah log????.....maaaaan.......this is gettin realy wierd!!!!!!!!......nd wats up wit dat Jekyll nd hyde crap?....hmmmmm......u're sick!!!!!.dats wat u r!! a sick sensless whiner!!!!

-Rahul

tadaa!

From now on u unfortunate lot who get to read these blogs are gonna witness Dr.Jekyll and MR.Hyde from time to time.....im not gonna elaborate on whose jekyll and whose hyde! thats for u to decide. But as an afterthought, i guess i ll give u a clue.... if the blog is an outright collection of somebody's whining and if they are all too depressing then its me Karthikeyan.... and if its all happy and euphoric ,u can be sure its my alter ego... "Mr.Smarty in pants"( he didnt like me calling him "Smartypants")!

p.s: i pity u ppl, nobody.... absolutely nobody deserves such crap!

-Karthikeyan